My depression hasn’t reared its ugly head for almost a year. Not until today. I woke up feeling heavy and tired even when I had a restful sleep and went to bed early last night. I just felt that something is off and been feeling it the whole day.

I think it’s because the dosage of my Abilify was lowered after I complained that the twitching of my toes is getting worse. It’s a side effect of the medicine and I take Akidin to manage it but I think the effect is wearing off. So I took my former dosage of Abilify, hoping it will act fast and correct my mood. I was hoping too much. I know it takes a week before I feel the effects. The toe twitching got worse though so yeah. I hate this side effect.

I messaged my shrink on Viber about me increasing the dosage again and she just said “ok.”

I tried reading tonight but I couldn’t focus on the words. I’m just waiting to become drowsy instead.

I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling better.

I read this thread on Twitter and it broke my heart. Some people with Covid has chosen to kill themselves because they couldn’t afford the hospital bills. Our government’s response to this pandemic has been dismal and it’s alarming that there are so many Covid deaths that shouldn’t have happened. I’m scared for my family. The hospitals are full and people are dying while waiting for a bed space. What if something happens to my mom? She’s a senior with Parkinson’s Disease and contacting the virus might hit her very hard. As for me, I don’t care if I die as long as my family is safe.

So there. Morbid thoughts today thanks to my brain chemistry and the inutile government.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.