depression

I feel like a fish swimming against the current
The water beats my body and soul
Breathing is so hard. I feel like I’m drowning
While other fishes go their merry way.
The current is so strong
It’s thrashing me around
But swim I must lest I drown
For I believe there is hope in the end
Even just a sliver.
So I persevere and go
Swimming until I can’t swim anymore.
’til I down and go under
Or reach the very end.

I wrote that poem last night. It’s been three weeks since my current depressive episode started and I can feel it getting worse. I started taking supplements to help my daily dose of medicines. I take, GABA, Omega-3, B Complex, Turmeric, Vitamin D, 5-HTP (?). I don’t know if they’ll work or if there will be contraindications but I’m desperate. I feel like I’m going to start cutting soon.

One day at a time, Karen. One day at a time.

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