photo from
photo from

My TV was tuned in to Teleradyo while I was sleeping last night. My subconscious woke me up when Noli de Castro mentioned that Robin Williams has died and it might have been through suicide. It took a moment to sink in and when it did, my heart crumpled. Mr. Williams seemed to be the happiest man alive so I couldn’t imagine him taking his own life unless… Well CNN confirmed it. He had been been suffering from severe depression which is something I could relate to.

I’ll try not to make this post about myself but I want you, my readers, to somehow know how it is for depressives. Observe those who are close to you. See who makes jokes the most. Perhaps the reason why that person is compelled to joke around is due to his/her depression. I love making people around me laugh and when I’m successful with it, I feel better about myself. I can only imagine the depth of Mr. Williams’ loneliness and grief but I’m guessing it’s fathomless.

I am not sure as to what happens after we die but I hope there is no purgatory or hell. I want Robin’s pain to finally stop and I wish the same for myself when I die. Robin Williams, I hope you are finally free.

2 Comments on O’ Captain, my Captain

  1. Grace Ang
    August 19, 2014 at 11:41 PM (7 years ago)

    I, too, have been struggling with depression ever since I can remember… So Robin Williams’ death hit home pretty hard, and I am heartbroken… I wasn’t just sad because the world lost one of its brightest lights, but because somehow, I know how he felt… His is probably much worse considering what he went through in life, but I can say that I can, in a way, understand his struggles & his demons… I made him my case study for our Adv. Abnormal Psychology assignment so I had to research his back story… I still can’t get over it ’til now… We have a history of both suicide and depression in the family, and sometimes I get so afraid that one day, everything may be just too hard to bear anymore… It’s even harder here in the Philippines where depression & mental illness are not very well understood by lay people, and mental health care & support are hard to come by… Even those with a background in Psychology may not fully grasp the realities of depression, unless they have experienced it personally… I came across your blog as I was trying to Google search for suicide hotlines here in the Philippines, and sadly, there is only one that I found, I’m not even sure if it’s still functional cause the articles were from 2012… With a background in Psychology, I’ve been wanting to help start a “helpline” or “hopeline” of some sort for mentally and emotionally-challenged Filipinos, I just don’t know how… Hopefully, as an already established blogger, you can reach out to more people to raise awareness…

    • Karen Ang
      August 28, 2014 at 10:28 PM (7 years ago)

      Hi Grace,

      I haven’t fully read up on Robin Williams’ background so thanks for the info. The suicide hotline I blogged still works 🙂

      There is still hope for depressives in the Philippines although we have a lot lacking. There are support groups out there online and offline. Plus the suicide hotline is a big step in the right direction.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.